Dear guy that keeps breaking into my car

You're in there roughly twice a week. Sometimes thrice. There's never anything in there for you to take, although I do applaud your perseverance and sense of intrepidity in rooting through EVERYTHING inside said car. You did manage to get away with a $3 flashlight last night however, so I suppose sometimes it IS worth it. Having said that, you've now secured the last item of any value from the vehicle (read: that ever WILL be in the vehicle).

I realize my car is easy to break into. To be sure, a 2000 Honda Civic hatchback with no alarm blinky-light thing, no passenger door weatherstripping, or automatic ANYTHING must surely be a beacon of light to any would be car thief. Indeed, my car is about as impenetrable as a high school prom dress. It boasts less security than a crowded bazaar outdoor shirt rack. I even started parking right up against the wall so that my passenger wasn't even exposed/accessible. But I suppose I should've known you'd find another way in. I absolutely did make an ass out of you and me. The trouble is you aren't even a car thief though, are you? No, you're a car rummager. You rummage. I don't even think you're looking for anything in there. You just want to nose around and generally exist inside the car for a little while. You all but ignore the factory CD deck and stereo that would likely go without a fight. Have you considered upgrading your skillset? I must say, it reflects poorly on you as a professional.

Do you accrue bonus points if I happen to leave sheets of paper, flyers, or other loose articles lying on the seat that you can simply strew about haphazardly in an effort to make your rummaging look moderately industrious? My apologies in advance if you actually do this in order to correct the feng-shui within the vehicle that I have so callously disregard on a regular basis.

I suppose what I'm getting at is, how many times can you play the first level of Tetris over and over again before it's just not worth playing anymore? There are several beautiful, brand new $40k+ vehicles in the same lot each night that are guaranteed to reward your efforts at least tenfold compared to the pitiful spoils you reap from my car. I realize the neighbourhood we both share isn't quite the portrait of affluence either of us wishes it were, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't elevate ourselves out of it.

Onward and upward, brave young cutpurse.


From Rich